We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
