The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
