I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
