This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
