I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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