Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
