i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
