Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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