Kiss
Puke
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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