update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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