Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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