Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
