Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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