so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You've changed since you got that strap on
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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