End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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