Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
