I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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