Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize