i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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