omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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