Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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