we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
