508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
