he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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