These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
