I am spending my child support on dildos
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
