When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There are leaves in my underwear?
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