That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
