its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize