Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize