You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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