it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize