i think i have two assholes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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