it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
