The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
