just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Randomize
