so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize