i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
