OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
