My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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