We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
