Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i now understand why vodka
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize