my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
