i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
