For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
