youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize