I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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