So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
