I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
