I think my fart just growled at me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
