wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize