They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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