I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
