Fuck appropriateness.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
