my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
