I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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